May 9, 2013
Opportunity Cost

The only thing I hate worse than phone calls with people I don’t really know is waiting for a phone call from somebody that I don’t really know. Okay that’s not true. There are things I hate more. But I am a self centered human who is currently in the midst of waiting for a phone call from somebody that I don’t really know and I don’t like it. The call is from the company I interviewed for an internship with this summer. I applied a while ago and didn’t hear back for a while. During the “didn’t hear back” phase my friend invited me to go to Europe with him for a month this summer. “I don’t have anything else better to do” I thought, and quickly accepted his offer. Literally two days after we booked the tickets, I heard back from the company I applied to asking for a phone interview. As you know, I hate phones so I said yes to the phone interview, knowing that I wouldn’t really be able to take the job if they offered it, because I wanted to practice interviewing, especially on the phone. Now it turns out I am a finalist for the internship and I need to tell them that I actually can’t take the position I interviewed for because “something has come up that will cause me to be out of town for a month this summer” (is how I wrote it down before I called). So I called this morning and of course got voicemail, and made the terrible mistake of saying “I will be available until two o’clock this afternoon” which means I have to be available until two o’clock this afternoon. So I am waiting, and writing. 

There is a term often used in economics, and life, called opportunity cost. Which is essentially the idea that when making a decision, part of the cost is the value you will not receive when you forgo the next best alternative. By making the decision to go to Europe this summer, I am passing on the possible internship. The internship is my opportunity cost. In the short term I am making the right call. I would much rather spend a month in Europe than the summer working an internship. But long term it is quite possible that I am making a negative transaction. The value I could receive from the internship is probably greater than the value I will receive from my Europe trip. From talking with the company, it seems likely that if I excelled in the internship (which I am confident I would have) I could land a job with that company. Which would be awesome. But I already committed to my friend and the trip and so that is what I am doing. And really all this internship opportunity did was make me feel bad, like I was missing out. If the opportunity was never there then there would be nothing to miss out on. Now I am just complaining about going to Europe, wow. I am genuinely very excited to go to Europe. What a terrible problem to have right? Europe or a cool internship, I sound like a dick. 

Well not I am going to go create a linkedin profile since I won’t have this internship to get me a job.

“This is real life everything we do is legendary, and we’re gonna do it till the day we in the cemetery”-Welcome To Forever, Logic

-ML3

12:07pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZgQ9XwkbuN4-
(Notes: 1)
  
Filed under: opportunity cost ML3 phones jobs travel 
May 1, 2013
Brainmouth Disconnect

I went on a date last weekend. We went to the movies, which is good because I am not really good at making conversation with people I don’t know very well, especially girls for some reason. And when you are at the movies, the actors do most of the talking. But throughout the day leading up to the date, I would kind of run through scenarios in my head. Questions I should ask, comments I could make, etc. Also, since we went to the movies, I had some time there to think about it too. And in my head, I am clever, funny, and suave.  But somewhere between my head and my mouth there is a disconnect, and my clever, funny, suaveness turns into slightly awkwardness. Why does this happen?

I had a phone interview for an internship the other day and had a similar experience. I am terrible with phones. I like to see who I am talking too. And going into the interview, I had some points I wanted to make and some questions I wanted to ask. During the interview I forgot most of my points (I probably would have forgotten the questions too but I wrote them down— smart me!).

This used to happen when I would give presentations too. I would get up in front of people and my mind would start operating at less than full capacity and if I wasn’t completely prepared I was in trouble. I have given so many presentations the last couple years though this doesn’t happen as much any more. I guess that means I just need more experience with these things and the disconnect between my brain and mouth will go away. 

I realize that this post combined with my one a couple weeks ago about hating to form groups makes me sound like I have social anxiety. Maybe I do. But I don’t think so. In general, I am just fine around people. I have even been described as personable! But there are a couple of settings — most notably phones, girls, and interactions with slight acquaintances where I have slightly awkward tendencies. 

“All the girls standing in the line for the bathroom!”-Everybody Nose, N.E.R.D (This has got to be one of the funniest opening lines to a song I have ever heard!)

-ML3

8:06pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZgQ9Xwk1C77q
Filed under: Brainmouth disconnect girls dates social problems phones 
April 23, 2013
Pi Thoughts

I recently finished reading Life of Pi. It was one of those books that I didn’t particularly enjoy reading but, really enjoy thinking about after I read it. I think I didn’t like it as much while reading because it didn’t have a plot, he’s stuck on the pacific ocean for 2/3 of the book and you know he will survive. But I still think it was a good book because of the issues it brought up and how it made me think. On the cover some reviewer claims this story will make me believe in God. He was wrong. But it did make me think about believing in general. 

If you haven’t read the book and you want to, or you don’t want the story spoiled for whatever reason, you should close your eyes, do 30 push ups because exercise is good for you, then stop reading. Those could be done in any particular order…

But at the end of the story when Pi is describing his story to the disbelieving officials, it becomes apparent that the story I just spent 150 pages reading may not be “true”. Obviously it is a fiction story so none of it was true, but that is the beauty of it. You get to chose. It is a chose your own adventure story where the adventure is your life. 

If this were a non-fiction story I would be more inclined to believe the story that does not involve him living at sea with a tiger for over 200 days. But this is a work of fiction and I like the tiger story better. 

When it comes to religion, I plead ignorance. I don’t know much about them, but from what I have heard I am not inclined to believe any of them. The simple fact that there are so many and they all claim to be right makes me think that religion, especially organized religion, is a human construct that does not come from a deity. But I also believe that the set of circumstances that had to come together to create earth and our lives is extraordinary. 

I was watching game of thrones with a friend, one of the characters trusted someone they obviously shouldn’t have and my friend, thinking he was sounding cool, remarked, “when are they going to learn to trust nobody, that’s my philosophy”. I am somebody who likes to look at things literally, both for practical and humor purposes. If you are going to literally trust nobody, you wouldn’t even understand language because that comes from other people. If you did not trust that what they were saying was what they meant you are in trouble. But even not taken literally that seems like a pretty terrible philosophy. Humans are community animals and it is to our great benefit to trust each other. Obviously not all the time, but in general. 

Trust requires belief. Belief in the other person and their knowledge, motives, viewpoint, honesty, etc. I chose to trust Pi’s story of the tiger, even if it seems unlikely, if for no other reason than it is the more fun story. At the end of the book Pi asks the investigators which story they thought was better since it did not matter to their investigation which one was true. They said the one with the animals was the better story and Pi replied, “And so it goes with God”. God may well be the better story, but the difference between me and the investigators, is that it does matter in my investigation.

This is quite the scatterbrain post of loosely correlated tangents. Sometimes writing things down clears my mind and sometimes it confuses me even more. This time I think it did both.

“Isn’t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”-Douglas Adams

-ML3

2:57pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZgQ9XwjO3LOK
(Notes: 3)
  
Filed under: Life of Pi pi Books God Religion Life ML3 
April 22, 2013
Dating App

There is an app called Tinder. It shows you people of the opposite sex in your area and you can either “like” them or not. They won’t know if you liked them unless they like you back, and they will never know if you didn’t like them. If both people like each other they can start “chatting”. I downloaded it like a week ago. My friend convinced me to do it. I am against online dating sites like match.com or whatever. I’m not sure why and I’m not sure how an app is different than a website. I guess it is because it is more casual, it feels almost like a game. But I am actually enjoying it. Besides the cheap ego boost it gives you when you see that a cute girl liked you. It is kinda my ideal way to start a conversation. Using text where I can think about what I am going to say. 

I have had a couple of conversations on Tinder. Nothing has really come from them but they are fun. Actually, some girl gave me her number and we have been texting a little bit. But other than that. I’m not sure what my point is here. But as I said last time, my life is a little uneventful and this has been a way that I avoid boredom. I know I said that I am fine with my uneventful life, but I am getting a little bored. Although I am going to Europe this summer for a month with a friend. That should be fun. It will definitely cure my boredom. Until then I guess I will think about my trip and be on Tinder. 

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing, it was here first”-Mark Twain

-ML3

5:56pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZgQ9XwjK6GBH
Filed under: Dating App Tinder bored ML3 
April 17, 2013
My Uneventfulness

My life has been unremarkably uneventful the last week or so. But that is ok. I have had fun. I’ve hung out with friends. I’ve done some school work (I am now in a group in all of my classes now! No more awkward group forming!) and I’ve relaxed. There are times when I start to feel down on myself of having an uneventful life. “You are only going to be 21 once! better make it count!” the most annoying version of myself says. As long as I am happy though, I don’t think it matters much how eventful my life is. I know I won’t be happy if my life is always uneventful, but periods of uneventfulness is not necessarily bad. 

“Just know that I was once considered a dreamer, but I paid my dues and turned so many doubters to believers”-Dreamin, BIG KRIT

-ML3

5:26pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZgQ9XwixFj6m
Filed under: uneventful life ml3 
April 12, 2013
Awkward Situations

Lately everything that I have written has been about graduation/my plans after. And in a sense that is good. I write about what is on my mind and that has definitely been on my mind. But I have no really new ideas or insights and I’m tired of writing about it so I won’t. 

Anybody heard the new Paramore album? It is fantastic.

I have had several awkward social encounters lately. And they are the kind of encounters that really shouldn’t be awkward but I made them. Unfortunately. 

Situation 1: I was working out at the rec center when I noticed somebody from my old neighborhood at home who happened to go to the same college as me. And now happened to be at the rec center at the same time. I am not friends with this person, but I don’t dislike them. If we didn’t used to live in the same neighborhood I would have no connection with this person. But we did. So somebody who is more affable than I would have gone over and said hi and avoided any awkward situation at all. But that’s not what I did. I hoped he wouldn’t see me and carried on with my workout. Eventually, he and his friend were walking near me. Obviously I saw them since I noticed them walking, but I wasn’t sure if he saw me. But now my job would be easier. I wouldn’t even have to go over to him, he happened to come to me. Just say hi and this isn’t an awkward situation at all. Nope. Not what I did. I glanced at them, then quickly looked away and pretended to be doing my tricep exercises. At this point I am pretty sure he has seen me, but I am not sure if he has seen me see him. It is possible. So I spend the rest of my workout trying to avoid him. As I am walking down the hallway to leave I see him coming the other way. There is literally no way to avoid him now so I smile and say hi. This whole thing would have been so much easier if the story started that way. But no. I had to make this whole production in my head. 

Situation 2: Being in the business school we have to do a lot of group projects. Apparently by making us do assignments in groups they are better preparing us for life after graduation. Anyway, I am the one kid in the class that is always disappointed when the teacher lets us pick our own groups. I am a hard worker and do fine in any group that I am apart of. But the process of forming the groups is horrible. Most of my friends are not in the business school so we don’t have class together. I have a lot of acquaintances in the business school, but most of my acquaintances have closer friends in our classes. So I feel awkward trying fit into groups of already closer friends. Going into class on the second day I saw one of my acquaintances (this time I said hi no problem!) but instead of going and sitting with him and his friends knowing that I have to figure out a way to get into a group, I went and sat by myself on the other side of the classroom. Now they are already in a group without me and I have to figure out a way to get into another group.

I’ve heard somewhere that you shouldn’t feel awkward about things you do because everybody else is so caught up in their lives to really pay attention to what you are doing. If everybody is like me and they make situations way more difficult in their heads, then that is definitely true. But I’m not sure everybody is like me. But maybe they are.

“Expecting perfect scripted movie scenes, but what’s an awkward silence mystery?”-Hate to see you heart break, Paramore

-ML3

7:29pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZgQ9XwiYxYCu
(Notes: 1)
  
Filed under: Awkward situations ml3 stories 
April 5, 2013
Figured Out

So I think I have it figured out. Ok that’s not true. I will probably never have it figured out. But I am getting closer. And I got closer by realizing that I don’t have to know now. The first job I get out of college is not necessarily going to define who I am or what I want to do with the rest of my life. I don’t think that is a decision I am even capable of making at this point in my inexperienced life. What I do know, is right now I want to work in sports. I have known that for a long time but I didn’t think it was enough. It is now. I am going to continue to look for an employment opportunity in sports. Hopefully, once I get my foot in the door I will have a better idea of where I want to go from there. I am going to actively pursue my first opportunity. But then I will let it run its course from there. I do not have to plan the rest of my life now. Which is good, because I tried, and I can’t.

“We can roll with the punches, we can stroll hand in hand, and when I say it’s forever you understand”-Only You Can Love Me This Way, Keith Urban

-ML3

4:38pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZgQ9Xwh-5ABb
Filed under: Life Decisions College job occupation figured out ML3 
March 31, 2013
Occupational Hazard

So my hotel didn’t have wifi so all the words I promised didn’t happen. Which is not good. I should keep my promises. Especially to myself. 

Last week was spring break. I went to Arizona. It was fun. 

I call my parents every weekend. And I like talking to my parents, but every time I worry they will ask me about what my career plans are and I have no answer. Since they are paying for this whole college thing I feel kinda bad. So going into spring break I was excited to spend time with my family, but I was dreading the inevitable question “what are your plans after graduation?”. The whole week goes by and the question never came up. I thought maybe I could get through break without having the conversation that I was very much dreading. I was wrong. My dad waits until the morning before I leave to ask me. And, like I said, I have no answer. Which I’m sure is not what they wanted to hear. But I honestly don’t know what I want to do.

A little over a month ago I took a picture of my schedule and posted it here. My only plan for Saturday was to “figure out my life”. I didn’t. Which is another example of me breaking my promise to myself. 

In my life things have always come to me. Part of it is, I think, due to my fortunate upbringing. I was put in a position where I didn’t really have to fight hard for anything. But I also like to think a lot of it is just the way life is. I think people worry way to much. And while I’m not sure I believe in God or religion, I feel things generally work out fine if you let them. So I am split. My general life philosophy says relax, everything will work out. But my mind and my parents are more of a go actively figure things out. While that is not usually how I operate, I think it is the best course of action in this case. I need to start actively figuring out career plans, because I don’t think they will just come to me. 

I am only taking three classes this term. Hopefully that will mean I will write more. I definitely should write more. It helps me figure things out. But as we have seen, I don’t always write as much as I want to/should.

“Any man who knows a thing knows he knows not a damn damn thing at all”-Take a Minute, K’naan

-ML3

11:08pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZgQ9XwhdGYK9
Filed under: Occupational Hazard Jobs life promises ML3 philosophy 
March 19, 2013
Rambling Excuses

I’m still kinda sick which sucks. Also I was supposed to write something last friday and didn’t. I was busy. Also slightly intoxicated. I’m sorry. And now I’m supposed to write something today. Which is good because I have things to write. But bad because I just finished writing my third paper in the last week and, frankly, I’m tired of writing. Side note: sometimes I wish my name was frank so I could make puns with the multiple uses of the word frank all day. So, while I realize I didn’t write anything on friday, spring break is coming, and I will not have to write three papers in a week, and therefore will be more willing and able to write more words. I can’t guarantee the quality of those words, actually the words themselves will probably be quality. The order in which I arrange them however, may not be. But I hope it is. I think it will be. Now I am just rambling. And you just read my rambling. Whats worse the rambler or the ramblee? God I’m tired. Goodnight. 

-ML3

10:52pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZgQ9Xwgh4IAs
Filed under: ML3 Rambling Excuses 
March 12, 2013
Sick Presentations

So I’ve been sick for the last week. As a result of said illness, nothing really exciting happened in my life. I had a presentation yesterday. It was actually one of the best presentations I have given in a while. One of the girls in my group messed up and right before class started said she couldn’t do part of what she was supposed to say. So I had to do it with no preparation. I pretty much nailed it. At the end of everybody’s presentation there was supposed to be a five minute Q&A where people poke holes in your presentation and make you defend them so when we write our paper we will have a good idea of the weaknesses of our argument. Nobody asked any questions. Even the teachers question was more of something she wanted to discuss because the thought it was interesting. So I guess that’s good. Or else we were just the most boring group and nobody paid attention. Also possible.

“Everything is a ok, I’m strong as an o.a.k. money don’t grow on trees and I’m b.r.o.k.e.”-Strong as an Oak, Watsky

-ML3 

10:45pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZgQ9Xwg9EiUd
Filed under: sick presentations ml3 
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